THEORY PT. 4: The Catcher in the Helipad
20 07 2008I’ve said much bitter things about my brief sojourn in Makati.
Well
it wasn’t all that bad.
Cause
I was blessed with a great creative team, that was kinda like my family
na rin. If I didn’t miss the work, I could say that I miss them. I’m
thankful for that. My team was the greatest ever sa dept. (yabang???)
and we have the best part of the floor kasi were the ones beside the
big window. Hehehe kaya I love the view lagi. You can see Manila Bay
from my desk. Nice.
After thine affliction I had a hard time
delivering my printed resignation letter to all the people concerned.
Though I was aware that I could bail and never set foot in the office
again. I took the prescribed route of sending the message through
proper channels. The hardest part was handing it to my boss, the one
who interviewed and hired me. Well, it was because my resignation
proved him right.
I cringed.
They’ve hired students from
UP before—and none of them left a good impression. He told me that when
we were in the cold conference room.
“What makes you any different?”
I blurted all the give-me-the-job mumble.
When it could’ve been,
“The fact that you’re thinking of hiring me right Now.”
(Hayup!)
***
I had bad bad bad flashbacks.
But besides that I was okey. Somehow I knew/I felt why my forefathers quit (or were they just too bohemian and self-obsessed?).
So my last day came.
***
Coming
from a lower (or lower lower lower) middle class* background, Makati
CBD’s buildings, though they had dickheads for workers, managed to make
me go “wow”. It’s not downtown Manhattan but it’s the only place
vaguely resembling it in the Philippines. It’s this small piece of
developed land that’s clean and nice. With all the connotations of
richness and luxury you can pack in a business & “wellness” themed
biosphere—terrarium.
When I did my rounds of applications to all
the advertising agencies in the place (and that time I wasn’t really
interested in any office outside of it) I judged them primarily on
office space and location. My eyes were set on Ayala Avenue. So when I
ended up in it, I wanted to see my buildings helipad from the very
start. Yep. It caught my attention right away. I remember always
looking up before I entered the building, waiting for a faint dizziness
rush over me. You should try it hehehe stand almost close to the wall
and look up a tall building.
At first, I thought you could have
access to it by taking the highest route on the elevator but I forgot
that the building wasn’t like Lepanto where one could sneak out to the
topmost floor and take the stairs (Which I did with my OJTmates one
summer). To access the helipad you take a special elevator, escorted by
building security staff armed with firepower and a permit. Geez, wasn’t
curiosity reason enough?
I was disappointed. I really thought I
could sneak out from work, befriend a guard or two and have access to
the helipad…and just stay there to think, relax, detox etc.
So
when the date of my resignation loomed, I decided that seeing the
helipad of tower 1 was going to be my last mission. During lunch break
I went and asked the concierge about getting permission. I was told
that I needed a “valid” reason, a written letter stating my purpose
signed by a VIP and the number of people that would be present. I
realized that my only chance of making it was to make my boss an
accomplice. So I drafted this fake letter explaining the agency’s need
for pictures of the Makati skyline for a print production. This, while
crossing my fingers for my boss’ signature.
Unfortunately/fortunately
she told me that she didn’t have the authority to sign such a document.
And that’s how our Executive CD got involved. My CD, Monique showed it
to Bonnie our ECD…and then I found myself in his office.
He
first asked if I planned to kill myself. I said no, I told him that it
was just for the sake of it. I think he thought it stupid but he agreed
to sign the letter anyway (since aalis naman na daw ako). I was glad,
heck I was excited to go up! He even said that he’d bring his camera
and equipment to make it more legit. Nice, my plan was falling into
place.
Word soon spread and little did I realize how many
people, from the creative dept. at least, also wanted to see the
rooftop. So my intention of a solitary trip quickly became a Department
field trip.
But there was only one problem the weather.
***
The
day of the rooftop trip came. I promised myself that I’d just enjoy the
day. I’d accomplished most of the formalities of resigning—the only
thing missing was that box where you put all your junk in. I wish I’d
bought one to complete the ceremony.
Oh—that, and another job
interview, yep, on my last day at work. _______ called me for an
interview a couple of days before and I agreed. I wasn’t serious or
anything really …I even told my boss and she advised against it.
“Mas-panget dun.” I believe were her exact words. But I must admit the
name of the ______ based agency is catchy. It used to be called
__________ until “_________” acquired it.
Why did I agree to it?
Well during the time of my resignation my agency thought that I could
try copywriting. I’d like to think that this was because they didn’t
want me to leave. (I don’t know) But I must say I felt that a
copywriter’s job was easier during that time, for the simple reason
that they always left after 6pm while we go on and toil till morning
comes, most of the time. And besides, I felt that I could write to save
my life. So it couldn’t be that hard. Right? Also, during that time, to
be honest, I was fearful of my future. I was leaving an industry that
could very well be my only chance of becoming rich in this lifetime. I
was leaving “the” industry that I always thought, since I was a college
freshmen, would be the one I’d devote the rest of my life to. So
somehow, I was tempted, heck I even thought of becoming an account
executive. But in the barest sense I agreed because I wanted to do
something that I might never have a chance to do again….
Art
directing is a really cool job. But it’s different when it becomes,
repetitive. It’s different if much of what you want gets scrapped by a
client’s whim. It’s just different, it just becomes tedious. And
there’s always this fuss about churning ideas at a flick of a finger,
three concepts, two concepts blah blah blah. I felt that I didn’t
graduate from UP just to do that. Buti sana kung I’m discovering a cure
for cancer pero kung pambalot lang naman ng panty na may rhinestones
aba…I mean I can bullshit all I want but sabi ni Oble ialay daw ang
talino sa bayan hindi ba’t mas maganda namang direksyon yun? Kaya yun
nalang siguro. Yun nalang siguro ang solid na dahilan kung bakit ako
umalis sa industriya. At wala akong sasabihin sa mga taong gustong
pumasok dito kasi yung iba nakakayanan naman na parang wala lang eh di
good for them. Basta gawin mo ang gusto mo gawin sa buhay.
Ano kamo? Idealist ako? Aba pota ka, kung walang mga idealista sa mundo matagal na tayong nilamon ng atomic bomb.
If
I remember correctly the interview was at 2pm. The office was a couple
of buildings down from where I am so I wasn’t in a rush. I sneaked out
the office 30mins before 2. The rooftop trip was set at 4pm so I had
plenty of time. I was greeted by the concierge and was led to a
conference room the HR manager was the first to meet me. And of course
the usual forms were filled out and shit. After awhile she was curious
why I was leaving my agency, seeing it written on the paper. She told
me that the agency’s ECD and a CD was going to meet me shortly, and she
was sure they would be interested why.
Shit? Okey. So they came.
I was surprised to see that the ECD was young, late twenties? And he was accompanied by a female CD.
I
must say. I almost “loved” advertising again a couple of minutes into
the interview. Mainly because I think, I think ok, they were really
interested in having me on board. And the Jedi they met that day wasn’t
the usual Jedi. He was ten times himself. They asked about syempre why
I resigned. And I gave them the “tedious” litany. So I said I’m
interested in trying out copywriting.
And what the ECD said, I don’t care if he was pulling my leg, was one of the best ego massages I ever got.
“…with
copywriting, well anyone can write. But a person who has an “eye”,
that’s someone who is hard to find. And seeing your work—out of all the
applicants—your work caught my attention….”
Pumalakpak ang tenga ko.
I
was sad, I was kinda likin’ the ECD already, bwehehehe, but I thought
that this job wouldn’t be any different. Besides, I’ve decided already.
Diba Jedi? Nagdesisyon ka na?
I said,
“…I came to Makati
because I thought that advertising was great, I’ve tried art directing
so now its copywriting, if that doesn’t work well…I’m fucked.”
They laughed. You’re the man Jedi.
Then the ECD said,
“…the bottom line is if we offer you the art directing position, would you accept it?”
“No.”
As
I said that my heart thumped wildly, my mind was raising…they were
getting up thanking me for my time…they asked if I wanted to leave my
portfolio I declined. I was out in the lobby down the
elevator….shit….shit….shit
Did I just do that?
Suddenly I
laughed, I was laughing at myself on Ayala Avenue. I was walking and I
just laughed…. I was dizzy…my palms were sweaty…exhilarated. I don’t
know if I was going to regret this but Damn! It felt goooood. I did
what I came for. I was all freakin’ Dharma chakra parivartana, I was
turning the wheels of the law!
It dawned on me. I won’t have
anything to do with this business anymore. Art directing, copywriting,
accounts—no. Pota! Bahala na!
All that time pining for a single phone call, all that time worrying, pulling hair, what for—this? Please!
Nung
nag-apply ako hindi niyo ko pinapansin. Nagahahanap kayo ng my
experience ayaw niyo tumanggap ng fresh grad puwes magsama-sama kayo,
go down with the Philippine economy or what’s left of it, every one of
you! Mag-scam ads nalang kayo nang mag-scam ads dun lang naman kayo
magaling Hahahaha
I’m OUTTA here!
Wuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
(A couple of other agencies called after that but I didn’t bother.)
Then I just laughed some more.
***
Adrenaline
was still pumping/coursing through me when I sat at my desk back in the
office. Matatawa na maiiyak ang pakiramdam ko. Kasi mukhang gutom na
nga tlga ang kahihinatnan ko sa buhay. Pero ayos, ayos, kung may
pagkakataon mang magpaka-existentialist ako eh eto na iyon.
4pm came, and I was excited. High ako. High ako nung umakyat ako ng rooftop.
And there I was.
Wow.
It
wasn’t windy. The air was warm and still. I remember that I couldn’t
hear the traffic down below. The day was overcast, and it rained the
day before. I was at the top of this ivory tower. I broke off from the
group and reached the edge of the yellow perimeter—the safe zone. The
helipad didn’t have any barriers it was a flat polygonal slab of
concrete. And I imagined what it would feel like to see the edge five
paces away.
I
was there. I could see Manila all around. It’s not a rye field. There
were no bratty kids to catch. But there was a cliff. And Jedi was about
to fall off the edge. I watched him fall till he disappeared. Then I
turned away.
To be concluded…
.____________________________________________
We
took a lot of pictures that day, and when we came down, I was just
thankful, just thankful. I’ll always remember that time when I see that
helipad. And now, almost a year after, when I see it occasionally, I
smile.
*It’s
hard for me to gauge. Lower Class-technically the one’s who live in the
slums / Middle Class the ones who live in BF Homes etc. Hmmm, I live in
Project 4. Definitely not BF homes hindi naman slums. But with the bad
drainage and plumbing that spits your shit out from time to time,
sometimes I feel like I live in a dump.
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