left-handed wanders

Huwat???

Yes! we should all do a jedi and quit! Quit if your wasting your time! Life is too short to do tacky SM & Toyota ads! Bwahahaha! We have free will! We have  a choice!

Hehehe. I’m sure you’ll be fine, you’ll have more time to travel na?

Yeah the rooftop trip. It was really great. Every time I see The Enterprise Center–that HSBC sign even from the MRT bound to Ayala, I’ll always think of that trip. It has become my life’s ivory tower. That was the day that I’ve decided to come down from it. That was the day I’ve chosen  a different path for myself.

Though I’ll be lying if I said I didn’t miss the paycheck–the chance to have an early retirement and see the world. Bonnie told me before I left na it’s too early to say that advertising  isn’t for me. He said, "It’s fun." I believe him, look at him now the industry has blessed him with a lot of things. But like you said, it’s not for everybody. And that was a reality I didn’t find hard to accept.

Sabi mo rin saken na ang kahirapan ay dapat pagsumikapang pagahunan. Yes, but what if that’s a person’s destiny? Success and happiness is relative after all.

So what if I’ll never leave this place? I have it so much better than other people– Filipinos still die of hunger here in Manila.

One of my close friends, is a finalist at this year’s camp creatives. And it looks like she has a shot at going to Cannes, France. I told her, "Ikaw na ang nagtuloy ng pangarap naming lahat (batch 07)." I’m really happy for her at least one person I know is hiyang sa industriya na ito. I envy her more for the fact that she’s going to Europe rather than being the next advertising hot shot.

So I’m still here in my quiet corner of Ateneo. Typing this during an overcast morning listening to the radio.

Thanks Munik for everything.

I still get a lot of kick from listening to "A Tale of Two Cities" from Mr Hudson & the Library. The last track "Upon the Heath" comes to my mind this early morning (2:20AM). I like the word "heath", its a word that means an expanse of level land. The only heath that I’ve heard of is of course the one in London–Hampstead heath. When I read the Griffin & Sabine trilogy this afternoon I think Sabine mentioned visiting Hampstead Heath. Tried looking at some pictures of the place through the internet and it seems pretty nice.

I wish I could be typing this while lying on a heath somewhere, heck why not Hampstead.

In Manila there aren’t much parks or grassy spaces open to the public. Also, there is an appalling absence of descent public libraries–sorry I just had to bring this up. The ones that are any good–the academic ones–don’t give borrowing privileges to people outside the academe. So I pine. One of the dream libraries I want to visit religiously is the one at Cambridge University and the one at Yale. I don’t know if this is correct but I’ve read somewhere that university libraries abroad, especially the big and prestigious institutions, remain open 24 hours. This blows my mind, how awesome would that be like? I mean I’ve never stayed in the UP library after 6pm (though the Gen. Reference section is open till 12AM) but being a student and hanging out in the library for schoolwork and stuff with no limit? How obscenely inviting. I love libraries because they hold a lot of things that supplement any theme imaginable. Yes, there’s always the internet but I like the process of searchinng through shelves and running an index finger through spines of books. I swear if ever get to own a flat or house of my own–one room would be shelves of books from floor to ceiling. Just like the ones you see in old English homes. I love libraries cause it is a stimulating environment for me. I get a lot of thinking done in hours inside. I love the suppression of raptures while you read a very interesting book and it is especially more poignant inside a library.

–Back to the word "heath" it also brings into mind another favorite word of mine, "heathen" from what I know it means pagan. Is the word a derivative of heath? When I think of heathen I conjure up ancient fertility dolls and monolithic structures to mind. Couple these with the word "heath" and I recall a scene from Polanski’s Macbeth. I also like the word "bedlam"–not asylum but a state of chaos and confusion but that’s another post.

Oh, think I’d better get some sleep. Thinking of going to work tomorrow even if it’s a holiday–don’t like to be getting back on thurs. swamped with work though HAL 3’s a pretty big incentive I have to say.

Later.

While I wait for the documents to print, I’ll type my first few impressions on the new iMac. It arrived last tuesday in a box that got everybody in the lobby just looking (up to now when they pass my window). Yes, it is a beautiful machine. The aluminum body gives it a million-dollar look–and it runs OS X Leopard on a 4 Gig-RAM, as our Training Manager aptly said, “Sweet.”

It’s good and all but it comes at a price. I am expected to do “great”. And I don’t know how to handle that. I mean I can try but in the end I’m human. Eer.

So I’ll do what I can do. No “performance” taxes just because the department had an equipment upgrade. Besides, its not like I’m not part of the company whatever I do, its for the group.

But no matter what. This iMac’s hot.

(I love it. I love it. I love it.)

A satisfied person smiles at Photobooth.

So, I watched Nickelodeon’s "Unfabulous" (yeah) last sunday evening. I
haven’t seen an episode for a long time so I was a bit surprised that
Addie wants to break-up with Randy Klein–well moving along. After that
was "Naturally Sadie" nice episode last Sunday, the treatment was the
whole show featured two timelines representing what-if’s triggered by
Sadie’s choice of clothes (the gravity being, he might end-up with the
one she loves or not)–you know in Nickelodeon, they show music videos
after each show, so when this music played, after "Naturally Sadie" I
immediately said, "I have to listen to the album".

And for
almost a week now I haven’t been listening to anything but, "A Tale of
Two Cities" by the UK band Mr. Hudson (he graduated from Oxford) &
the Library. This album was the universe’s answer to my previous blog
question, "Will I ever leave this place?". For me it is pure escapism,
where else but to my "London". The video I saw was for the single,
"Picture of You" and features familiar London cityscapes in muted blue
and grey. It’s pretty close to what I imagine–this idea that I have of
what the place would be like.

What can I say, the weather in
Manila has been perfect for the past week, wonderfully dreary. I mean,
somehow QC could pass for my "London" even if it’s just for an album’s
length.

The vocal stylings and musical arrangements are all easy
on the ears. The whole album sounds like it was recorded on a rainy day.

Ahh! I’ll stop justifying why I like it. They sing of London/I love Libraries–enough said.

Mr. Hudson and the Library. AKA Soundtrack of My life. I’m a librarian.

I’m here at the kitchen typing. The 20-inch TV I bought (from my previous job’s last pay) is on. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and I’m on the dining table, alone. Haven’t had a bath since yesterday morning and I feel like a damp force field surrounds me. I’m a bit sleepy since we we’re at the Vet’s place at 7am.

I am boiling some water thinking of eating some pasta with olive oil and garlic. Out of basil though but I’m up for a little compromise. I love the back to back design shows on Discovery Travel & Living during this time of day. Most of them all feature European countries, which feeds my need to "get out" even if it’s temporary. I’m drawn to European settings solely because I’ve built ideas around them. So when I think of "my London" I think of Amis and Mcewan–with "my" Paris, well it’s all mainly of Marcel and "Amelie".

I’m thinking of going to the mall and buy a dictionary but it seems I’ve spent enough money for the day. I misplaced the mini-dictio I lug around when reading and I’ve gotten a little tired of getting the meaning through "context clues" lately. My cat spaying-castrating project is costing me a fortune (we have 5). So my financial resources are suffering until next month (what’s new?). It’s amazing that after almost 8 months working I haven’t actually saved anything(Even more amazing, how it feels like a lifetime). I haven’t bought anything extravagant but all I’ve earned has managed, up to this point, to vanish. They’ve disappeared among urban life’s necessities. Nowadays, I actually see how hard it is to earn a living. As in the parental maxim, "Hindi tinatae ang pera." has a striking blow I’ve never felt before. I can’t imagine that a large chunk of Filipinos live on a 5-8,00 Php monthly salary with families to feed when I can barely make mine last till next month’s paycheck. I know I must save up for a house one day, for what, I don’t know.

At 21 I ask myself, as I’ve done when I was 13 and 16, "Will I ever leave this place?"

There’s nothing for me here.

Now, what if I never do?

We were at the 12th Hotair Balloon festival last Sunday. My dad covered
the event for AFP (Agence France Presse) and he let us tag along. It
was good, the only hindrance for it not being "great" was we didn’t
rode an actual balloon.

The trip was quick though quite
stressful, I had one of our cats castrated early Saturday morning then
went straight to the office to finish the webpage design (which will be
launched this March). So I got home around 10pm and we were supposed to
leave at 3am. This left me with little sleep and a feverish feeling due
to the unusually cold nights we’re having in the metro.

The
wind blew constantly across the field. I cussed as the cold seeped
through my fatty tissues and fuckin’ bones. I didn’t bring my jacket
hastily thinking that there’s no need for it. Surprisingly a lot of
people were already there when we arrived around 5pm. The entrance felt
like an evacuation scene from a horror-survival flick. I kept thinking
someone would shout, "Aliens!", "Zombies!"…"Cloverfield!"

Anyways,
the Hotair balloons were, well, balloons. It was nice to see them being
steadily inflated until the rope’s let loose of the rope and go up,up
and away.

Someday I’ll ride one and never come back.

Oh,
the event was also interesting for me since I’ve started reading
McEwan’s "Enduring Love". The edition I bought has the painting by
Odilon Redon entitled: The Eye Like A Strange Balloon Mounts Towards
Infinity. I like the painting a lot. When I save more money I’ll buy a
print reproduction together with Rousseau’s "The Snake Charmer" a
couple of Dalis (sic) and Magrittes.

We went to the picnic
grounds for lunch. My sister and I rented bikes–and it was great. I
haven’t turned a pedal since Highschool. But after 30 mins I got winded
already. I’m old.

Later.

So glad that my web design task is over. I hope I did the site justice. I am responsible for the overall aesthetic look of the site. Meaning, I just established the look but not the actual coding etc. I wish I could learn how to use HTML and dreameaver. Though I wouldn’t want to get swamped with job offers for websites (which I think is tedious). I just want to learn it in order to make my own website that I could maintain. Oh well, I guess I really must start reading the Dreamweaver manual I bought 3 years ago. Hehehe

Yeah, so I could make a web space just about me. Hehehe. Ok. In the future.

I’m a bit inspired to design as well.

A major event is coming up this March, a tribute concert for Fr. Eddie Hontiveros: The Father of Philippine Liturgical music who passed away last month. I am given the responsibility of designing the promotional materials. I feel honored in a way. To me at least, it’s a big deal. And I really don’t want to fuck up. So I want to go designing it with a lot of preparation and immersion with his life and works as much as possible. I’m excited.
The place where I’m working right now is inspiring me. And somehow, I’m remembering the feeling/reason why I wanedt to be a designer in the first place.

I really want to be better in what I do.

Also, our new video offering "Paghilom" is about to be released with the CD design by me. Actually, the look is already established since I’ll base the design on the OBB for continuity. The OBB by Galvin Ngo looks great, but I want to put a bit of my own style.

And coming this lenten season, our TV special "Pitong Huling Wika" will appear with the promotion and packaging materials by me.

Great projects.

Lets work!

I felt like it today.

Went to Makati this morning to update my
BIR and BPI account information (change of employer/location). It was
an easy trip, since I went with my dad on his way to work.

Though. It felt bizarre. 

When
I got off at the intersection of Makati Ave. and Paseo de Roxas near
the statue of Lapu-Lapu, it was unusually bright. It’s the kind of
brightness like, you know, in “Six Feet Under” when a scene starts to
fade in white. When I crossed the street towards The Makati Atrium, a
long queue of boxy cars was waiting for the green light. The traffic
enforcer, instead of being on the road, walked briskly towards the side
and disappeared in a corner.

Inside the building, employees
were standing in front of a low makeshift stage its back to the
entrance. The employee of the month was being recognized? The building
though easily dwarfed by its neighbors was quite spacious inside. It
was dimly lit and musty but I easily found the BIR office, which was at
the ground floor not the 5th (as said in the address). It looked like
any other government space, decrepit/makeshift with lots of people
waiting. I waited for my turn and handed my papers to be processed. As
I stood at the counter I saw the whole of the office, lots of paper,
men and women mostly in their forties shuffling and stamping while
“Soulja Girl (Soldier Girl?)” boomed from the loudspeaker inside.

I
didn’t have breakfast, so I stopped by McDonald’s in Paseo Center. I
had bland pancakes and Mama-made bacon sandwich. Amply stuffed I went
to BPI Paseo, the one inside Philamlife Tower, to update my forms. I
was supposed to go their last time, but the Manila Penn siege happened.
Finally today, I got it over with. I’m keeping this former payroll
account for “savings” (AKA “Put Me Back to School Fund-slash-Macbook
Trust) that hopefully grow to suffice my MA indulgences for 3 years,
though to be honest I know it’s a bit of a stretch. I remember the time
I got my first ATM card there. I really felt that I’ve arrived cause I
generate independent income. And now, I have two identical ATM cards
since my foundation is enlisted at BPI Katipunan. I’m contemplating on
getting a credit card to break the monotony.

The bank girl at
customer service was nice. Though a little fuss happened because of my
inconsistent signatures. After college I changed my signature from the
one I’ve been using since high school. I usually signed my name
completely. But nowadays, it’s just my first name like “Seal” and yes,
like “McLovin”. And its nothing really fancy just plain script—perfect
for identity theft.

I felt a little stupid when she asked me
for some identification. I showed them my old school ID and Alumni
library card (no driver’s license, never been out of the country, I
don’t vote blah blah). Though my recent picture pasted in the form
settled the doubts. (Yeah, I got fat since freshman year so what, big
deal.) When she asked me, “Sir, do we have to update your signature
too?” I said, “To be honest, I feel rather foolish and lightheaded in
your presence and I don’t think I could blame the weather.”
I wish. Though it was pretty hot outside though.

Took
a long bus ride back to Quezon City (my home) and got off at Farmers
Plaza to take a Philcoa Bus to UP. And another bizarre thing happened.
The TV screen inside was playing David Nicholl’s “Starter for Ten” It
felt bizarre. I’ve wanted to see this movie since last year and now, I
catch it on a dingy bus bound to Monumento. Nice. I was reluctant to go
down Philcoa since the movie wasn’t finished yet.
This proves one
of Jessica Zafra’s theories. In Twisted 8, she theorizes that Filipinos
are developing a different taste for films, especially the poor. This
can be attributed to the popularity of cheap pirated DVDs. Now, more
than ever, Filipinos have a wide selection of film and TV productions
readily available, from all over the world.

I almost asked
Manong Driver if he chose to play the film himself, but never the less
from now on I hope we see more good programming at busses.

***
And
then I met Zia to get my UP Centennial Planner. Actually I’m lucky to
own one since it’s sold out already and I didn’t even ordered.
Basically, I bought her copy. Hehehe

It’s kinda nice. Lots of UP facts etc., makes me proud to be a UP alumnus.
I’ll fill its every date with entries.  To let people know in the future, how my centennial year went down.

I’m destined for greatness. (?)

***

I wanna go to grad school.